Author: edcouragementor

It’s a well known fact in life that, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

This is equally true in your interactions with parents.  The vast majority of the parents you will work with will be kind, supportive, and appropriate in their interactions with you.  That being said, you will also encounter parents who seem irrational, irate, or downright rude.  You will be tempted to say, “Excuse me, but could you please remember that when you speak to me, I am also a human being?”  Although the temptation will be great, resist it.  

Here are five strategies to avoid unpleasant parent interaction and how to move past it when it does occur to build parent allies.

Strategy 1: Be Proactive Rather than Reactive in your Communication

Most of the time, we reach out to parents when something is going wrong, really wrong.  Often times, the parent’s initial reaction is, “Well why did you wait so long to tell me that there was an issue in the classroom?”  While a perfectly honest and realistic response is that you have thirty-nine other students to support, grading, and teaching responsibilities, saying such will not help you build a positive relationship with a parent.  A great strategy instead is to be proactive and build parent communication from the get-go in your classroom.  Call or send a personal email to every parent at the beginning of the year to introduce yourself and let them know you are open to working with them this year.  As the year progresses, send positive emails home as well so that parents aren’t just hearing the negative about their child.  Even if it’s a small behavioral improvement, celebrate growth!

Strategy 2: Be Honest, and Support Areas of Need

While, as mentioned above, it’s important to send good news home to parents, it is also vital to be honest in your praise.  Most parents know the truth about their child’s cognitive and behavioral development.  Don’t exaggerate merely for the sake of trying to appease a parent in your communication.  If there is an area where a student needs help, communicate the need factually, and then say what you’ve already done to support the need.  For instance, “Jane continues to struggle with shouting out during class.  In order to help her remember not to talk over others, she has been receiving a positive behavior ticket when she remembers to raise her hand before speaking.”  Brainstorm ways with the parent to continue to support the need.  Report facts, rather than opinions, as this is less emotionally charged for parents.  

Strategy 3:  View the Parent Perspective as Essential

It’s always a good idea to ask parents about strategies for success that they’ve used at home.  Chances are that if you are seeing the behavior at school, parents also struggle with it at home.  Conversely, parents might see a side of your student that you are unaware of.  Inviting parents perspectives into the conversation serves two purposes.  First of all, you will learn more about your student: the parent perspective will help you understand how to help your students better.  Secondly, you will build a stronger relationship with the parent, which will make your life more pleasant!

Strategy 4: Focus on the Needs of the Student

When confronted with an extremely angry parent, it’s easy to lose sight that that you both care about the same thing: helping their child.  Take a deep breath and steer the conversation back on course.  You could say, “I see that this issue is clearly important to you as it impacts your child.  It’s important to me too to help your child.  Can we work together to find a way to help her/him?”  It’s good to remind the parent (and yourself) what the point of the conversation is to move forward in a productive way, and to defuse tricky conversations.

Strategy 5: Set Appropriate Professional Boundaries

While parents are clearly motivated by seeking what is in the best interest of their child, sometimes they overstep appropriate boundaries, or have unrealistic expectations.  For instance, a parent might expect you to email them back immediately during the school day.  Your first priority at that time is being present for the students, and therefore this is an unrealistic expectation.  It is realistic, however for you to respond within 48 hours to all emails.  Be clear in your expectations with parents and set clear boundaries.  If a parent is overly antagonistic in an email or in person, consider inviting in an administrator for in-person meetings and cc’ing an admin on email contact.  On the other side, also remember that the parents are not your friends, and therefore, it is inappropriate to socialize with them.  Use your best judgement, and when in doubt, check in with us in the forums to get advice from at EdCourageMentor about your specific situation.

Remember, you have the power to make parents your allies, not your enemies!
Are there any other strategies that you’ve used successfully in parent management?  Weigh in the comments below.

Most teachers enjoy spending time with children; it kind of goes along with the teaching territory.  That being said, spending time with adults periodically throughout the day is vital; it can lift your mood or even restore sanity during an especially hectic time.  Finding your spirit teaching posse, however, is easier said than done.  Finding your lunchtime crew is very much akin to that first day of high school in the cafeteria.  Remember how you entered the room, clutching your tray or brown sack lunch, palms sweaty, wondering where you belonged?  

Here are some tips to keep in mind when looking for the right fit for your teacher tribe.

Avoid Burn-outs and the Jaded

There is nothing worse than sitting with a bunch of complainers, who currently hate teaching and find much to complain about at your school. These teachers will try to suck you into their vortex of deprecation.  Be careful to avoid this scylla and charybdis of nattering nabobs of negativity and try to find folks who accentuate the positive.  This is important in both thriving and floundering schools because it will allow you to build through positivity rather than stagnate.

Find the Funny, but not the Mean-Spirited

There is nothing better than regaling your teacher pals about some of the funny exploits and antics of your students.  Heck, some of us got into teaching just so we could share these hilarious gems with our friends, both teachers and non-teachers.  Having a few good laughs at lunch can definitely brighten up your day, but there is a thin line that it is important not to cross: demeaning or tearing student down is a definite red-flag, and a sign of someone who is not going to be a supportive colleague.  Chances are if they use language that is pejorative towards students, that they tend to use that tone in general, and maybe even about you!

If You Build it, They Will Come

But what if your perfect group of like-minded people doesn’t exist yet at your school?  Create it yourself!  Enjoy adding some activity to your day?  Create a lunchtime walking group.  Are you a music aficionado?  Host lunch in your classroom and create the soundtrack.  Or are you a foodie?  Make or find some truly amazing guacamole and invite the staff to a guac lunch party in your room once a week.  Most teachers, like any human, cannot resist a tasty treat, and food is a good way to their heart and friendship.  Food has a funny way of bringing a community together.  Whatever your interest, chances are that there is at least other person at your school who shares it.  And when all else fails?  You can turn to your community here at EdCourageMentor.

What other strategies have all of you used to find teacher friends at your school and beyond?  Please share your ideas in the comments!

Humans learn best when they feel valued and that they are a member of a positive community.

Here are some easy ways to make that happen in your classroom:

Model Kindness and Engagement

Teachers are super models!  That means that your students are watching you for cues about how to act in your class, and that you can easily model positive behaviors.  If you show kindness and empathy, they will too. The same goes for showing excitement for learning: if you are actively engaged in your teaching, your enthusiasm will be infectious.  Teach like your entire body is alight with passion. Your zeal for learning will radiate outwards from you and pervade your classroom, making it a joyful place to learn.  

Allow Student Interests and Strengths Room to Shine 

When you are good at something, you feel proud.  Give your students this opportunity within your curriculum and class to develop and showcase their strengths.  If you are teaching science and you have a gifted storyteller, let her write lab reports as fantasy stories.  If you are teaching writing, and you have a talented artist, let him create a graphic novel.  Positivity and engagement will flourish.  Although you may be teaching a certain subject, remember that student engagement depends on whether students feel that the material that they are learning is relevant to their lives and interests.  Look at your learning objectives and see if you can make a real-world connection or application of their learning to bring your lessons to life.

Put Students in the Driver’s Seat

Active learners are happy learners.  Step away from the lecturn and find out what engages your students.  Classrooms with a strong culture of inquiry have been shown to have some of the happiest learners.  Let them ask questions and then chase down those answers together.  This is the learning that will stick with them!  

Make your Culture Unique (and fun!)

Students always remember the small things that a teacher does.  What traditions does your learning “tribe” have?  Do you high-five students and greet them by name when they come into your class?  Do you have a class instagram account?  Is there a student collaboration whiteboard on your wall?  Do you call your student “scholars”?  Those are just a few examples of class traditions from several teachers that I’ve known.  There is no wrong or right; find a positive way to draw your students into your class!

What do you do to create a positive class?  Let us know in the comments!

Your students are about to arrive in a few days.  You have your lesson plans set.  But is your room ready to go?

Here are a few tips to creating a safe, welcoming, and learning-focused classroom environment.

Think of Safety and Comfort

Under what conditions will your students do their best learning?  Try to ensure that the lighting, seating, and temperature are all comfortable for students.  This could mean creating some lighter and darker areas based on student preference.  Look around and make sure that there are no hazards and obstacles around the room.  Are the seats arranged in a way that everyone can easily see the board? Can you and your students walk around the room easily?   

It is also helpful to think about your room in terms of spaces.  Where will the library go?  Is there an area that is conducive for learning stations?  In which spaces is your technology being integrated?  Is there a reading nook?  A quiet space for students who need to work alone without distractions?  

Ensure that Decorations Support Learning

Be strategic about what kind of posters and decorations you put up.  Students will be looking at posters every school day, so make sure that they deliver the kind of messages you want to communicate.  Quotes about character can help build social emotional intelligence.  Make sure that posters are age-appropriate (avoid cutesiness in middle school and high school classrooms) and engaging.  Both bare walls and overly-cluttered walls are extremes to avoid: find a healthy balance in your decorations.

Be sure to leave plenty of room to display student work.  By putting up student work, you are indicating to students that their thinking creativity are worthy of admiration.  Focus on putting up work that displays critical thinking and innovation rather than tests or worksheets.  

Creating a “teacher corner” will help your students build a relationship with you.  If you create a teacher corner with items meaningful to you, the students will enjoy getting a glimpse into your life and seeing if they share any similarities.  Ideas of items to include are photos of your family and pets, banners from your college, pictures of bands or sports teams you enjoy, art that you like, and quotes that inspire you.  Remember to keep all items appropriate for school.

Think About Your Room Configuration

Arrange desks with learning in mind. Don’t feel locked into having all of your desks in rows one behind the next like a traditional classroom.  If you intend to do a lot of group work, think about arranging desks into clusters.  If you create a horseshoe shape out of the desks, all of the students are in the front row. One of the nice things about classroom furniture is that it’s easily movable, and different configurations can be set up for different activities.  Experiment and see what kind of set-up works best for you for different learning activities.

Organization and Cleanliness

In order to keep your room ready for learning, it is important to maintain an organized space.  Find a home for everything, and make sure it gets returned there.  Come up with a system for where to place collected papers and assignments. Keep food, gum, and drinks other than water out of your classroom.  Have a supply of paper towels and cleaning wipes on-hand to deal with germs and messes.  Clean spaces allow for optimal learning

Enlist the children in helping you keep your room clean.  Come up with a routine for the end of the block and end of the day to ensure that trash and clutter are discarded appropriately and to ensure that all books, supplies, and furniture go where they belong.

What other tips and techniques have you heard for getting your classroom ready?  Let us know in the comments.

Learning is a social act.  What this means is that your students’ ability and desire to learn from you is inextricably tied to your personal relationship with them.  If a student feels your concern and care for them, it makes them want to learn with you. For this reason, it is absolutely crucial to build a trusting relationship with students from the moment they enter your classroom on the first day.  

Read on to find out some great strategies for building trusting student/teacher relationships.

Get to Know Students as More than Learners

When I was teaching 8th grade, I learned all of my 200 students’ names by the second day (This took a lot of practice and looking at photos the first evening after the first day of school).  The students were shocked and appreciative of the effort that I took to remember them, and building relationships from that point forward was a lot easier.  While memorizing this many names is not easily feasible for most people, that doesn’t mean that you can’t show your students you care in other ways.  Find out what their passions are outside of school and ask them for updates on them.  Attend school plays, sports games, and dances.  You will begin to learn about your students’ lives, and in turn they will see you are more than a content teacher.

Be Friendly (Not their Friend)

Some educators advise new teachers “don’t smile until Christmas,” so that they can establish control in their classroom.  In my opinion, adhering to this adage just makes a teacher seem grouchy.  A teacher can be clear in their behavioral expectations while still being friendly.  It is important to maintain a clear boundary between friendly a friend, however.  Your student needs you to be a responsible adult figure in their life, not another friend.  Don’t try to “be cool” or popular to win approval from students.

Be a Stable Role Model in their Lives

Unfortunately, many students lives are filled with instability and chaos.  They need someone they can rely on to be there for them day in day out, and often this has not been the case for them.  Show your student that you will be there for them, and honor all of your promises.  Some students whose trust has been broken by adults previously in their lives may be more resistant to trusting you initially.  Do not give up, and tell them you will not give up.  Prove through your actions that you will be there and that you care.  Model healthy emotional patterns and respect for the child.  Your ability to break through to a child like this will positively impact their ability to form positive relationships with everyone else in their lives as well in the future.

Be A Good Listener, and Know When to Step In to Offer Assistance

Sometimes students just need someone to hear them and affirm how they are feeling.  They want moral support when they are having a rough day/week/year.  Since they spend most of their day at school, finding someone whom they trust is critical to the development of their self-esteem and resilience.  Most of the time, the act of listening supportively and actively is sufficient, but sometimes your student needs you to offer advice or even step in to help them through a tricky situation.  If they are being harmed, remember you are a mandated reporter, and that it is ethically and legally imperative that you report this to child services immediately.  Other situations are not so clear cut.  If you are unsure about the best way to help a child with a situation in school or external to school, reach out to us here at EdCourageMentor- we’re here for you!

Build Children Up

And remember, be positive, celebrate students’ victories and growth, and encourage them.  Isn’t this why you became a teacher after all, to positively impact lives?

Do you have any other ways you’ve found effective to build student trust?  Share in the comments below.

Do you love empowering other teachers to grow and succeed?

Want to get involved to help us establish a strong community prior to our launch?

Email us at EdCourageMentor@gmail.com.

We are looking forward to making EdCourageMentor a strong and supportive community.  Let’s grow together!

Dear New Teacher,

Welcome to EdCourageMentor!  Before we explain how we are going to improve your life as a teacher (and human being), we want to give a little bit of background about why we exist.

There are many misconceptions about teaching. You’ve probably heard teaching romanticized by the uninitiated: the cushy hours, the Summers off, the ease factor of the job. Little do these uninformed realize the sheer hours that teachers put in planning, grading, teaching, assessing, counseling, coaching, attending meetings… It’s exhausting merely listing the myriad of roles that a teacher fills.  Furthermore, what other job do you know where the employee has to plan their bathroom trips in advance?  More insulting, however, is the oft-repeated adage that “those who cannot do, teach.”  This could not be further from the truth: some of the teachers I’ve encountered have been some of the most talented, innovative, forward-thinking people I’ve had the privilege to know.  They could have done anything; they chose to teach.

There are many reasons that you may have decided to teach.  You were inspired by an impactful teacher in your life.  You want to change lives. You love the content of your field and want to educate others about it.  You have a passion for social justice.  You view teaching as a noble endeavor.  You think education can be transformative.  You think teaching is fun.  You enjoy the challenges presented by teaching.  You have a passion for working with children.  You’ve been told you have a knack for teaching.  You love learning.  Do any of these resonate with you?  Regardless of your impetus to teach, here you are now; the classroom is your oyster.

Be forewarned, however: Teaching is not for the faint of heart- it is an act that is simultaneously audacious and thrilling.  Every day in your classroom, up to forty sets of eyes will be watching you, forty sets of ears will be hanging on every word you say, forty brains will be recording your every move.  You hold the awesome responsibility not just to teach your students content but to impart the knowledge and skills to take on life as a successful human being.  I say this not to scare you, but to prepare you honestly for some of challenges that lie ahead.

But here’s the good news: there is no job more challenging or important if done right.

And here’s the even better news: you don’t have to do it alone.  In some schools, you are lucky enough to be placed with a supportive mentor teacher, who will take under her/his wing (hopefully that is you!).  Most teachers are not that lucky.  This is a large factor in the attrition rate of teachers: the average career-span of a teaching career is a paltry 3 years (although most people don’t become teachers with the intention of leaving the field).

Fear not!  That’s where we come in: your EdCourageMentor.  We were all new teachers once, and although every experience is unique, we have shared many of your struggles. We are sharing the things we wished we would’ve heard as a new teacher.

This is so much more than a blog, this is a community of teachers supporting teachers. Although we are virtually based, we are here for you, physical human beings, providing advice, encouragement, useful resources, self-care tips, classroom management and instructional strategies, humorous teaching anecdotes- anything that will allow you to grow as a teacher and continue to find joy in your career.  We will learn together, reflect on our practice, and support one another.

It takes courage to shape the heart and minds of youth.  Let’s do this together!

Welcome to the EdCourageMentor community- we are happy to have you here!

Warmly,

Your EdCourageMentor Team